Wands at the Ready

by Megathruster

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1.
(Spoken) We the Geeks, Nerds, and Dorks of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, promote reading a good book, and secure Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this ROCKstitution for the United States of ANERDICA Article one - we’re gonna have lots of fun Article two – and here’s some fact based science for you, it’s well past due Article three - more superheroes on tv Article four - city hall is now at the game store, and there’s so much more Comic cons is where all money is spent We hold these truths to be self-evident In The Rockstitution of the United States of Anerdica The Rockstitution of the United States of Anerdica And it’s time to join the party Article Five – Cosplay at work is now authorized Article Six – is Wheaton’s Law, just Don’t be a dick, It’s easy to fix Article Seven – No more bullies or aggression Article eight – Han Shot First, we put an end to the debate, we reject the update “Live long and Prosper” is our battle cry That’s why we came together to ratify The Rockstitution of the United States of Anerdica The Rockstitution of the United States of Anerdica And it’s time to join the party In the course of human events sometimes you must rise up and dissent Four score and seven years ago we got our dice bags and now we’re ready to go It’s the rockstitution Of these united states Of Anerdica And it’s time- To put your Hancock on the line And it’s time to join the party
2.
Remember that film you saw about a year ago Well I just found out something that I thought you should know Remember in the third act when they mentioned that one guy Well he’s getting his own movie and it’s coming in July Stay after the main credits You can’t miss a thing It’s an interconnected cinematic universe An interconnected cinematic universe It’s not too great but it could be a lot worse It’s an interconnected cinematic universe Now that the sequel’s out I have some really good news The netflix spinoff show has gotten a ton of views So they’re making another one with the cousin of the first guy It makes a ton of sense as long as you don’t ask why Better read the comic tie-in You can’t miss a thing (Spoken) As Hollywood continues to cash in on this trend, Megathruster asks you to ignore the corporate greed and please be courteous to others and silence your cell phones now. Your feature presentation will begin after the following chorus. The plot line will be resolved In 2053 It’s an interconnected cinematic universe An interconnected cinematic universe It’s not too great but it could be a lot worse It’s an interconnected cinematic universe It’s an interconnected cinematic universe An interconnected cinematic universe It’s not too great but it could be a lot worse It’s an interconnected cinematic universe
3.
You’re looking for a world that’s filled with mystery But you think we didn’t learn our spells Well now I’m telling you that’s ancient history And we got the power if you can’t tell When we were younger, you’d just call us a couple ‘o nerds Now come a little closer we’re about to say the magic words We’ve got our wands at the ready and we’re holding on to ‘em tight When we whip them out, you know they’re going to make your night When the magic happens, it’s gonna be quite a sight We’ve got our wands at the ready It may look like they were forged in fire Cuz they look hot to the touch It’s going to grant your every desire And you'll be sayin' thank you very much When we were younger we didn’t know how to use ‘em Now that we’re older, we promise not to abuse ‘em We’ve got our wands at the ready and we’re holding on to ‘em tight They look intimidating but it’s going to be all right Guaranteed to quench any appetite We’ve got our wands at the ready We’ve got Wands (WANDS) at (AT) THE READY We’ve got Wands (WANDS) at (AT) THE READY We’ve got Wands (WANDS) at (AT) THE READY We’ve got Wands (WANDS) at (AT) THE READY We’ve got our wands at the ready and we’re holding on to ‘em tight When we whip them out, you know they’re going to make your night When the magic happens, it’s gonna be quite a sight We’ve got our wands at the ready
4.
I’m going to tell you a story ‘bout a man and his wife Separated by light years due to galactic strife You must fight the resistance they told him one day And she cried as she watched the transport fly away They trained him to fight but he could not shoot well So they made him a guard down in the prison cells She stayed in his heart, he stayed on her mind And she waited and waited back on Hosnian Prime Say you’ll come back to me, XB-813 I’ll come back to you and we’ll see this through Don’t let them see the tears running down your face I’ll send you my love from the Starkiller Base Soon came the day when the base had their test run They drained all the power from the nearest sun The target was chosen, the beam true and straight The lovers left longing, not knowing their fate She was walking along through the city square To send a message to him wishing that she was there What the hell is that? She heard someone cry She only had one last thought as red filled the sky Say you’ll come back to me, XB-813 I’ll come back to you and we’ll see this through Don’t let them see the tears running down your face I’ll send you my love from the Starkiller Base The news traveled fast, his homeworld was gone And he wondered how he could ever live on He was rendered defenseless from the pain in his heart He wished for her touch as the base ripped apart And that is the story ‘bout a man and his wife Separated by light years due to galactic strife You must fight the resistance they told him that day But there is no fight left after love’s ripped away Say you’ll come back to me, XB-813 I’ll come back to you and we’ll see this through Don’t let them see the tears running down your face I’ll send you my love from the Starkiller Base
5.
Bumblebee is a Volkswagen That’s why he’s named Bumblebee It’s not simply because he’s yellow, And that’s something that’s plain to see Chevy put a bunch of money into a wheel barrow And paid Michael Bay to make him a Camero Bumblebee is a Volkswagen And that’s why he’s named Bumblebee Bumblebee is a Volkswagen And also he knows how to talk Speaking via radio might seem cool But it’s actually lame on second thought They painted flames on Optimus Prime Then turned poor Bumblebee into a mime Bumblebee is a Volkswagen And that’s why he’s named Bumblebee Volkswagen bugs are what it’s all about Come on, everybody it’s time to transform and rollout. Bumblebee is a Volkswagen That’s why he’s named Bumblebee It’s not simply because he’s yellow, And that’s something that’s plain to see The product placement’s strong but I’m no fool ‘Cuz I know Camaros aren’t that cool Bumblebee is a Volkswagen And that’s why he’s named Bumblebee
6.
T.U.D.Y.K. 02:33
I see you over there, talking to the other boys And I’m Powerless as to what I’m supposed to do I’m sitting at my desk playing with my dinosaur toys And I can’t stop thinking about you You may think I have the voice of an acerbic droid But it’s just something that I can’t avoid Cuz I’m just here to say, I want to be your T-U-D-Y-K And it will be ok, If you let me be your T-U-D-Y-K We’ll soar together like leaves on the wind When I play dodgeball you know I play to win Like Alan Tudyk I promise that I’m not some kind of Con Man This feeling can’t just be some kind of fluke When I make corny jokes, you can just stare at me deadpan And I’ll never exploit you like an evil Duke Come out to my cabin, it’s in the woods I hope I’m not being misunderstood Cuz I’m just here to say, I want to be your T-U-D-Y-K And it will be ok, If you let me be your T-U-D-Y-K This heart of mine has never known such pain Without you I’m like a chicken with no brain Like Alan Tudyk I’m just like a pirate but I don’t only want booty I’ll pilot the ship if you can be my kick ass beauty Cuz I’m just here to say, I want to be your T-U-D-Y-K And it will be ok, If you let me be your T-U-D-Y-K Even if I glitch I promise to stay true Until then, I'll be here reading the news Like Alan Tudyk
7.
We’ve been together for a while now So you must know my style by now But it might be confusing To see all the duct tape I’m using I may not be as skilled as you But I know something we both love to do We’re making sweet sweet costumes all night long We’re making sweet sweet costumes and it aint wrong This isn’t something I ask of everyone But can you grab a hold of my hot glue gun And hold the trigger oh so firmly And no, we’re not in a hurry Now we’re getting down to business My battle sword is almost finished We’re making sweet sweet costumes all night long We’re making sweet sweet costumes and it aint wrong Scissors! Paint! Leather! Wigs! The costume contest is tomorrow I’ve got some things I need to borrow Get the tools out of your bag There’s no need to let anything sag We’re making sweet sweet costumes all night long We’re making sweet sweet costumes and it aint wrong We’re making sweet sweet costumes all night long We’re making sweet sweet costumes and it aint wrong
8.
Tank 03:21
I gather up my friends for a party tonight Going on a special quest that’s right We run into some trolls who are intent on bringing us a fight It’s time to show our might I’ll be the tank, I’ll pull the aggro If you need a meat shield just call out my name I’ll be the tank you sling the arrows We all have a part to play in this game I’ve got my armor up and I’m going in Healers can save me while I take it on the chin While the clerics and mages use their powers to make them start all over again It’s our turn to win I’ll be the tank, I’ll pull the aggro If you’re not safe they can direct it all at me I’ll be the tank, you make them let go We’re all teamed up for everyone to see When my taunts take effect I know I might get wrecked But it’s how I choose to play When my taunts take effect you know I might get wrecked but We’ll live to fight another day I’ll be the tank, I’ll pull the aggro I’ll pull the chain while you storm the gate I’ll be the tank, you throw your lasso It’s our time to intimidate I’ll be the tank, I’ll pull the aggro If you need a meat shield just call out my name I’ll be the tank you sling the arrows We all have a part to play in this game
9.
Sometimes I think about getting up early and the way I walked to the bus stop for another day of 7th grade I just wanted to go to class, maybe make some people smile But the kind of things I liked weren’t the things that were in style I couldn’t help the way I looked, I know I talked too loud They would grab me and push me to the ground During P.E I was told I was no good out by the bleachers Not just by the other kids but also by the PE teacher Head slammed into the lockers, books knocked out of my hands I grabbed a sharpie marker cuz I had a plan I wrote “Weird Al Rules” upon my three ring binder I know I’m not cool don’t need your reminder Weird al rules is what I say And they’ll never make me change the way I feel Or shut me up and make me ashamed of the Geeky stuff that's my deal oh no… Weird Al Rules My mom would talk to the school but they just told her boys will be boys And I just wanted to be at home playing with my Star Wars toys But I went every day and held my head up high I fought back the best I could and looked them in the eye And when I think about how they called me fat and lame I just look around and see the rad life that I made Weird al rules is what I say And they should never change the way you feel Or shut you up and make you ashamed of the Geeky stuff that’s your deal oh no… Weird Al Rules just remember Weird Al Rules
10.
Every geek and nerd, it’s time to gather ‘round The greatest convention is coming to your town It’s guaranteed to turn that frown upside down Magic abounds at Super Duper Con Your badge is non-refundable, first let’s make that clear We’re trying our hardest have all your favorites here Like the cast of Firefly,but they’ll be nowhere near They all stay clear of Super Duper Con It doesn't matter how many vendors are on the scene They're going to pack you in like nerd sardines Sign up today for Super Duper Con Save up and pay for Super Duper Con There's so much to see And autographs are an additional fee So join me, at Super Duper Con When you first arrive, your information won’t be there You’ll say you registered months ago but nobody will care Your anger and frustration will be met with a blank stare Come if you dare, to Super Duper Con The line up is starting for the panel in room four Featuring a preview that will leave you wanting more If you think you might get in, they’re gonna stop you at the door Don’t get sore, It’s just Super Duper Con Afterwards, you won’t be able to pay the rent If you cosplay they can’t guarantee a safe environment Sign up today for Super Duper Con Register and pay for Super Duper Con You’re gonna catch the flu And there’s nothing you can do It's all true at Super Duper- Sign up today for Super Duper Con Save up and pay for Super Duper Con There’s no place to park You want to be careful after dark Hit the mark at Super Duper Con
11.
12.
13.
Are there any Star Trek fans here tonight? Well if you’re a fan like me, you love our next song I think the old movies are dynamite In particular, Star Trek II – The Wrath of Kahn Well I could continue explaining things to you But I think that you’ll agree there’s only one thing left to do We’ll just let the song speak for itself It’s plenty good on its own, without an explanation We’ll just let the song speak for itself Keep the focus on the music and only talk in moderation Whoaaaaooohhh yeahhhhhhhh Telling a story might sound good to some Right before we play our next song But then I start to ramble on and sound dumb And everyone’s like, “What’s taking so fucking long? Going forward, we’ll make it a guideline And make it a point to stop wasting everybody’s time We’ll just let the song speak for itself It’s plenty good on its own, without an explanation We’ll just let the song speak for itself Keep the focus on the music, sorry for any frustration Whoaaaaooohhh yeahhhhhhhh But if you don’t get the context what will we do As artists it’s a question we must face But we will have the power to push on through And leave you with this final word just in case We’ll just let the song speak for itself It’s plenty good on its own, without an explanation We’ll just let the song speak for itself Keep the focus on the music and only talk in moderation We’ll just let the song speak for itself It’s plenty good on its own, without an explanation We’ll just let the song speak for itself Keep the focus on the music, sorry for any frustration Whoaaaaooohhh yeahhhhhhhh

about

Megathruster's sophomore album! An album about geek life, geek love, and not taking any shit.

"This is the best album I've ever heard!" - Chris' Mom

credits

released October 31, 2017

Megathruster is:
Bass and Vocals – Chris Waffle
Guitar, Synths, and Vocals – Joel Machiela

Vocals on Track 4 – Sarah Donner
Cello on Track 9 – Aubrey Webber
Drums on Tracks 7 and 8 – Andy LaFlamme
Drums on Track 12 – Christian Lipski

Additional Background Vocals – Sarah Spoon-Waffle, Wendy Hutchinson, Jennifer Trundy, Carol Kramer

Produced by Joel Machiela

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Megathruster Portland, Oregon

Music by two Hufflepuffs in Oregon who love Chewbacca, friendship & keeping it fuckin' real.

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