You’re coming to my house I haven’t seen ya for a year
With your red pick-up truck and a case of beer
I guess that counts as a side but I thought you’re bringing yams
Now you’re already pluggin in your ipod to kick out the jams

You’ve only been here ten minutes, and this all feels wrong
And I can’t believe I’ve got to put up with you all day long
No no no no no

Head over to the family room, to check on the game
You’re already two beers in, and fanning the flames
Uncle John doesn’t need the grief, man, leave him alone
This is gonna be a disaster, I should have known

The Lions just scored a field goal, and I can feel your aggression
And Jesus, grandpa, why’d you have to go and mention the election?
No no no no no

I can’t quite hear you, buddy, your speech is slurred
And all you seem to care about, man, is having the last word
Dude you think that’s an insult, calling me a nerd?
You think I’m gonna pass you the turkey? Gonna give you the bird!

All right
I’ve put the dog show on, everybody’s calmed down
The maltese is looking strong, but I’m rooting for the bloodhound
But apparently you had money on the Labrador
And before I really know what’s going on, you push me to the floor!
(what the hell man?)

Grandma comes in the room, says it’s time for pie
Momma says she’s had enough, with a tear in her eye
But this ain’t over, just been deferred
You think I’m gonna pass you the whipped cream? Gonna give you the bird!