Come out to my cabin, it’s in the woods
I’ve got the goods to show you a real good time
Drive out in my Delta 88 and maybe read a book
you’ve got the look so I hope that you are primed
and if Candarian demons try to swallow your soul just let me know

I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
I’ll do all that I can if you just lend me a hand
I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
It’s time to take a stand, check in my trunk I got a plan

We can move to Brisco County, swing among the trees
like the king of thieves so who’s laughing now
and when the lights turn low I’ll show you my boomstick
It does a trick that will make you go wow
and if the ancient evil makes a duplicate of me, just wait and see

I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
I’ll do all I can if you just lend me a hand
I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
Sip a mojito, get a tan, make you my biggest fan

Give me some sugar, baby, what have you got to lose
Pretty soon we’ll both be covered in ooze
And when we’re old and grey like Elvis would have been
We’ll fight the evil Mummy ‘till we win

I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
I’ll do all that I can if you just lend me a hand
I want to be your Bruce Campbell
I want to be your big chinned man
It’s time to take a stand, check in my trunk I got a plan