20 Sided Vice

by Megathruster

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1.
There was a time When you would play outside But that wasn’t for me I wanted to watch TV Then came a time 8bit fever blew my mind Put the controller in my hand Vanquish the boss, that was the plan I became Mario and Tony Hawk And Battletoads and Laura Croft To name a few- But now the kids just wanna watch videos of other people playing Minecraft Yeah the kids just wanna watch videos of other people playing Minecraft And I feel old Pull up YouTube And see all those play-throughs I think it's such a shame To spoil a good game I find it kind of odd To see all the different mods I no longer know what’s real I just can’t see the appeal I come from a time where there were no save points Just random codes and disappoints Nothing you could do But now the kids just wanna watch videos of other people playing Minecraft
2.
I went on the internet today And I saw the online headline say The bought the rights to my favorite book Hey, maybe I should take a look They say that movie might be directed by Michael Bay I think that’s really not okay CHORUS It’s not out yet but I know that I hate it I just know that I hate it, I just know It’s not out yet but I know that I hate it I just can’t celebrate it, I just won’t Went on my favorite gossip site And I saw that they just might Turn my favorite 80s cartoon Into a brand new movie soon But Joss Whedon took a pass on writing the script And now I want to punch somebody in the dick CHORUS It’s not out yet but I know that I hate it I just know that I hate it, I just know It’s not out yet but I know that I hate it I just can’t celebrate it, I just won’t Think how great the world would be If everyone would just listen to me I would make every movie rad No nerd would ever ever be sad ’Til then I’ll be on the internet, staying up real late Poking holes in everything that you create CHORUS CHORUS ECT…
3.
4.
All alone on a Friday night and I’d like some company I send you a clever text with a cute emoji Would you like to come over? Thumbs Up/Winky Smiley Face I’ve got Netflix all set up at my place… Netflix and Chill – You are the one who fits my bill But don’t you dare try to make out with me There’s so many movies I want to see- Netflix and Chill – always going in for the kill But can you please keep just your clothes on We’re only halfway through the Wrath of Khan I know it’s after ten o’clock but there’s just so much to binge There’s still three seasons left of Fringe You look so good tonight as you try to hold my hand But I already have so much on demand Netflix and Chill – You never seem to get your fill But the movie is now underway And at the end of the month it’s going away Netflix and Chill – can you please just sit still And try not to make a peep We just started streaming Quantum Leap Other guys might have wanted something different when you got here But have no fear, we’re just watching The Wonder Years CHORUS Netflix and Chill – I know you're hoping to get drilled But don’t you bark for that bone I’m only halfway through Jessica Jones Netflix and Chill – I’m finally ready for some thrills But it seems that you got bored And now you're making some cute little snores And even though you're the one I adore I'm going back to Netflix for...some...more.....
5.
Come out to my cabin, it’s in the woods I’ve got the goods to show you a real good time Drive out in my Delta 88 and maybe read a book you’ve got the look so I hope that you are primed and if Candarian demons try to swallow your soul just let me know I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man I’ll do all that I can if you just lend me a hand I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man It’s time to take a stand, check in my trunk I got a plan We can move to Brisco County, swing among the trees like the king of thieves so who’s laughing now and when the lights turn low I’ll show you my boomstick It does a trick that will make you go wow and if the ancient evil makes a duplicate of me, just wait and see I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man I’ll do all I can if you just lend me a hand I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man Sip a mojito, get a tan, make you my biggest fan Give me some sugar, baby, what have you got to lose Pretty soon we’ll both be covered in ooze And when we’re old and grey like Elvis would have been We’ll fight the evil Mummy ‘till we win I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man I’ll do all that I can if you just lend me a hand I want to be your Bruce Campbell I want to be your big chinned man It’s time to take a stand, check in my trunk I got a plan
6.
It’s been a long, long road but I’ve got all my supplies A can of diet Dr. Pepper and a 20 sided die I know that I will be up all night But my homework’s done so it’s alright No exercise outside for me Just the quest for the hydra’s key Will I make it to the dragon’s layer? I’m living on a roll and a prayer The scent of dark elves is in the air, I’m living on a roll and a prayer It’s been a long, long road but I’ve finally passed the test I may have saved the world from evil but have never touched a woman’s breast I don’t care if everyone calls us dorks As long as my sword gets +10 against orcs When I wondered who I would take to the prom My charisma points said it will be my mom Frodo Baggins t-shirts are what I wear; I’m living on a roll and a prayer Haven’t showered in days but I don’t care, I’m living on a roll and a prayer The dungeon master says it’s my turn and my wrist is feeling the burn Give me more cheetos, more cheetos and pizza rolls! I know that the trap’s been set, I break into a cold, cold sweat Give me more cheetos, more cheetos and ------- It’s been a long, long road and I’ve roll played everything From the rotting walking dead to girl ponies who can sing I don’t know if I will ever get a date But I’ll have a hand in the wizard’s fate I’ll never ever go to a club But can I roll to see if I get drunk in the pub I get winded climbing a flight of stairs, I’m living on a roll and a prayer I’ll see you all next week at the ren fair, I’m living on a roll and a prayer Living on a roll, living on a roll – and a prayer!
7.
Chewbacca 04:07
When I woke up this morning you were gone And I have no idea who’s to blame So I decided to write you this song Even though I didn’t catch your name The hotel room seems so empty and you’re still on my mind And I can’t believe you left your bandolier behind Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I can’t spend another night without you Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I just want to know everything about you Of the fifteen girls dressed just like you You looked like you just needed some space But you wanted to get to know me too Even when you learned I just play bass You were surrounded by 20 perverts but we still got away And I want you to know you took a piece of my heart with you today Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I can’t spend another night without you Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I just want to know everything about you Walking on the convention floor it was love at first sight Joking about Dr. Who with you my heart took flight I looked deep into your eyes and held you so tight That’s when you felt my lightsaber burn so bright I pull the curtains and look down on the street And still I wish I saw you standing there They only thing that I’m left with now Are a bunch of sheets that are covered in hair Will I ever see you again, I guess I’ll never know But you will always be welcome backstage after our show Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I can’t spend another night without you Oh girl dressed as Chewbacca won’t you come back to me I just want to know everything about you
8.
When I met you online I thought you were so hot And I thank you for comin' to see all the movies that I got But it’s time to lay back and install my hard drive I was virus protected before I arrived You don’t have to log off on my account I’ll just sit in the chair and be your epic mount I ask you don’t be fooled by my physique I’ve learned from the best and makin’ love like a geek I can dress like a cylon and you be an elf Just like the action figures way up on the shelf Don’t be a tease with your hand on my thigh It’s do or do not; there aint no try I’m so turned on by your hot bod Now I’ll unzip my pants so you can kneel before Zod The prospect of sex used to seem so bleak But now it’s all good, I’m makin’ love like a geek (guitar solo) This might sound rude but don’t think I’m a jerk But when I’m with you baby, I’m thinking of Kirk And now I’m heading way deep down into Middle Earth So I’m slipping on that ring because it adds way more girth Then choke me like Leia choked Jabba the Hut And stick that toy lightsaber right in my butt If it starts getting weird, well don’t think I’m a freak I’ve learned from the best and making love like a geek It’s a whole new world when makin’ love like a geek
9.
Welcome to a new game night, I’ve got what they call a gateway game You may end up calling it filler but either way you will never be the same This here is my deck builder but before you make a sound It’s kind of small when the game starts but gets bigger every round It’s time to take a chance And play The Settlers of My Pants I’m not looking for bricks now baby, or any of your sheep no no But I’ll give you all my wood for what you got going on down below They say I’m a power gamer and that I can be quite brash But this might be your lucky night if you’re into Ameritrash The gameplay is quite advanced With the settlers of my pants It is is so easy to learn, go on and take your turn Try as hard as you can, you’re never gonna know what’s in my hand I promise to play nice, but in the end it’s just a roll of the dice I’ve got my strategy all planned out, you don’t know what’s in store It’s not a broken mechanic, when I score, everyone scores No need to be a rules lawyer this is where the game goes co-op I hope you like my expansion, cuz when I’m done the whole game stops It’s really huge in France Where it’s called the Settlers of Moi's Pants
10.
Button Mash 02:08
11.
12.
For most of our amazing lives It’s been out of our reach But now we're looking for a band of brothers For whom we can beseech Won’t you come and join with me It's a journey that will truly set you free Fuck Mountain Fuck Mountain First, we’ll need a wingman Who will help us break the ice And a designated driver with a limo will suffice And the most important member of the team A guy much uglier than us He’ll make us look real good in comparison So when we’re naked there’ll be no fuss Pack your bags it’s time to go Where the expectations are nice and low Fuck Mountain Fuck Mountain (Spoken) People, we will never forget the day the wise, old wizard came to our door. He had heard us practicing from down the block and he said, "Gentlemen, I can tell that you have not known the sensual caress of another human being in quite some time. But don't worry! For I have a quest and I want you two to join me on that quest. You only have to ask yourselves two questions: First is, am I wearing clean underpants? And two is; do I feel the urge? Because gentlemen...it is time...TO CLIMB! We’re gonna climb fuck mountain And we're not gonna stop Until we get it in, all the way– not just the tip And we'll actually finish this time and not get all up in our heads And make it kind of weird Fuck Mountain--

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It's Megathruster's debut album! We'll just let the songs speak for themselves...

credits

released April 26, 2016

Chris Waffle - Bass and Lead Vocals
Christian Lipski - Guitars, Drums and Background Vocals

Button Mashers - Sarah Waffle and Denise Espinoza

Guitar Solo on "Making Love Like a Geek" - Kevin Elmore

Engineering and Mastering - Jon Dark at Pyrate Llama Studios

Artwork - Timm Nasario

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Megathruster Portland, Oregon

Music by two Hufflepuffs in Oregon who love Chewbacca, friendship & keeping it fuckin' real.

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